hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
