theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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