I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
