If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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