smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
No subtext here. People are naked.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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