If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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