she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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