he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
