You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
