Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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