i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
