i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Even my vagina gasped.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the liver wants what the liver wants
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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