HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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