I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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