i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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