I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
