guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
