Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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