the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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