He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
