i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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