dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
