He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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