Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
