I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
