We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
