No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He felt like a one man threesome
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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