Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
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