If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
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