why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
