dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
now i know why i became what i already was.
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consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
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I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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