Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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