that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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