How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
