He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize