Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
