North Korea, Best Korea!
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
being pregnant is like rehab
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
