They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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