I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
