Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
