he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
