I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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