When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
