she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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