He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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