it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
