just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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