I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
handjob tips. give me some.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
