its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
