That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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