Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
