hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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