TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize