I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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