just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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