I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
