he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
