i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Its about making memories worth repressing
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
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okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
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I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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