i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
