so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
There was a lot of him and a little penis
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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