And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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