I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
