im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
