Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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