I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
