8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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