I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
