It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
