she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
