Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
