You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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