16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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