Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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